Catching up

My home city is hosting the Olympics in 2016.

Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

We picked 977 pounds of beautiful Pinot Noir and about 350 pounds of perfect Cabernet Sauvignon. The wine is going to be gorgeous.

Both my children are doing really well.

I spoke to my mother for the first time in seven years.

I’m studying my ass off and getting A’s in both my academic classes (my reward is an expanded, more disciplined mind).

I’m exercising my ass off and getting an A in P.E. (my reward is 15 pounds off to date).

I quit drinking coffee, and paradoxically, I now wake up at 5 a.m. on my own.

I’m busy all the time – which is why I haven’t blogged – but I’m pretty pleased with life right now.

Oh, and one more thing: given all the s%#@ going on in the world, including our own community, I’m damn happy that news isn’t my full-time business any more. There’s only so much negativity a girl can absorb and still stay sane.

Have a splendid week, everyone.

Jaycee found alive

It’s late morning on a June day in Lake Tahoe, where you’ve lived for almost ten years, and you get a disturbing phone call from one of your friends. She wants to know if you’ve heard about what happened earlier that morning: an 11-year-old girl was taken from the school-bus stop, dragged kicking and screaming into a car. No, she doesn’t have all the details; no one does. But... What? This doesn’t happen here. It doesn’t make sense.

That night, when you clock in for your graveyard shift at what used to be Caesars Tahoe, taking room-service orders to people with way more money than you, it’s what everyone’s talking about. The details are still hazy, but quite a few people apparently saw it – other kids at the bus stop, her stepfather who followed the car on his bike, pedaling furiously, screaming for them to bring her back. It’s all unreal. Things like this happen in other places, bigger places, more dangerous places. Things like this don’t happen in South Lake Tahoe.

Over the next few days, more details emerge. Detailed sketches of the suspects are on TV all the time. Two people matching the descriptions to a tee – a man and a woman – are brought in for questioning, but nothing is found, and they’re let go. You’re one of hundreds, if not thousands, of people who think, No fucking way. It was them. It was obviously them. He’s got a record for kidnapping and sexual assault, has done time, raped a woman in Reno back in the 70’s. But there’s no evidence, and the cops – who you know have the same gut feeling you do – have to set them free.

The case is all over the national news. It’s on America’s Most Wanted. And then, as the days, weeks, and months pass, it fades from the media. But you and the place you live in are irrevocably changed. More parents go to the bus stop with their kids. More parents drive their kids to school. They all hold their loved ones a little tighter. A pall has been cast over a place once thought of as safe, and it will never be lifted. You look at your own children – you’re 21 years old, you’ve got a lot to learn, but you know you’d do anything for that 2-year-old boy and that 1-year-old girl – and you think, I don’t know if I could go on.

*****

The years pass. The missing-child posters are never taken down from the local post offices and bulletin boards. The paper yellows, crinkles, and curls at the edges, but no one takes those posters down. To do so would be to give up, to admit defeat, to say all hope is gone. So every time you go up to the window to pick up a package or buy stamps, you see Jaycee Lee Dugard’s sweet gap-toothed smile, and you remember the day she was taken. You remember – everyone remembers – that she was wearing a pink windbreaker. And once in a while, you have to explain to someone who just moved here who she is.

A few years later, when a 9-year-old girl your kids knew from the Boys & Girls Club is raped and murdered, her body dumped off of U.S. Highway 50 on the way to Carson City, it’s like the proverbial last nail has been pounded into the coffin. No, we will never be the same again. And in the background, the ever-present question: What about Jaycee? Will her family ever know?

You meet her mother – or maybe it’s her grandmother, you don’t remember – one day. You don’t know it’s her. You just know when she opens the front door and steps out onto the porch, a sweet smile on her face and a huge, hairy dog at her side, that darkness hangs in the air around her, something you think you could touch if you reached out and tried. It’s disconcerting; it’s the sort of thing one feels upon meeting a Cambodian refugee, or a Holocaust survivor. When she goes back in the house and you’re out of earshot, the woman you’re with tells you she’s Jaycee’s mother – or maybe it was her grandmother, it mortifies you that you still don’t remember – and then you understand. And you know that darkness will never be lifted, that she’ll spend her life like the man you read about in the “Arabian Nights,” The Man Who Never Smiled. Although she did, sadly.

*****

You move away, to another beautiful place full of evergreens and magic. But you still think about that child once in a while, you still pray for closure for her family and loved ones. You don’t dare hope for more, because you know – everyone knows – that almost all of them are dead within three days, if not three hours. But her face and her story have become a part of you, have become a part of thousands of people. She’s a communal memory, like the green-eyed Afghan girl on the cover of the June 1985 National Geographic, a stranger you feel you know intimately. A stranger whose life somehow changed your own.

*****

You wake up one overcast Friday morning, and you’re in a pretty good mood. Truth be told, you’re tired of unrelenting sunshine. Even though you were born in Rio and you’re supposed to be a summer girl, you’re actually a winter person. You like snow and rain and wild weather. So for you, clouds are promising. You’ve always been a little weird, anyway.

You turn on your computer while the oatmeal’s cooking and take a quick look at the headlines. One reads, California girl found after 18 years. You click on it, because who can resist a headline like that?

When you see the photo, the breath leaves your body. And when you read that she’s alive, you scream. You tell your partner why, and he looks at you quizzically, because he doesn’t quite understand why it’s germane to your life. You call your kids, and they’re happy, but they’re too young to remember why it means so much. How safe we felt before. What we were all robbed of when she was taken.

Your partner dryly notes that the story’s probably been optioned for a TV movie already, and you think, Or at the very least, an episode of SVU. After the initial wave of emotion passes, and you have a moment to reflect on what’s next, you want to reach out to that child, and then it really sinks in – a punch to the gut – that she’s 29 years old. She’s only 10 years younger than you are. She’s not the eternal 11-year-old we’ve all held in our collective memories. And you think to yourself, what would you say to her?

*****

There are very few people in this world who know where you’ve been. You have a long road ahead of you. There will be a lot of confusion, a lot of guilt, a lot of heartbreak in the months and years to come. You will feel alone for much of that time. There’s probably a part of you that’s going to be desperate to catch up – to live as much as you can, as hard as you can, to make up for the 18 years that were taken from you. You will likely spend your life trying to untangle a hopelessly complex web of memory and emotion.

Know this, then: You were never forgotten. Thousands of people, most of whom never knew you as a child, have wished for this day. You were loved. You were prayed for. You were hoped for. And now you are finally among us again.

Welcome back, Jaycee.

New local artists' website

Photographers Kevin Peer and Rosa Rashall - whose work I love - have a new website for their Lost Coast Studio. I've picked up greeting cards with their photos for quite a few friends, and plan to invest in a print one of these days; their "movement photography" is beautiful, dreamy, and unlike any other I've seen ("Ocean Lion," above, is one of my favorites). Do check out the site... and keep supporting local artists and merchants!

NASA erases and reuses moon-landing videotape

I'm at a loss for words.

Faces of India

Our friend Lynn Ryan recently returned from a transformative trip to India, her first there. She went with a longtime friend, Wayne Gowell, an artist and photographer she's known for decades. A couple of weeks ago, she sent these photos, which Wayne took before he headed home. I think they're breathtaking.

The photo at the end is of Wayne.

It LOOKS really dangerous...

...but then she gets bored and starts to yawn, and all he can do is look down her maw in wonder.

Let's not lose Hospice!

The following was sent by a friend who has been doing some volunteer work with Hospice. She asked me if I’d post it here.

As noted on Eric’s blog, Hospice isn’t the only valuable SoHum organization that’s been hit hard by the depression.

*****

Heart of the Redwoods Community Hospice has helped thousands of Southern Humboldt, Northern Mendocino and Western Trinity county residents in their time of need. Now Hospice asks you for urgently needed support.

In this economic downturn, Hospice is running a substantial deficit for the first time. Their caseload is growing, and costs have increased. Hospice gets no funding from insurance or Medicare, yet their services are free. They help those who are ill or dying stay in their homes by providing 24/7 emergency assistance; advice and instruction on caregiving, comfort care, and pain relief; medical advocacy; and counseling and support for caregivers and the bereaved. Hospice offers services for those pursuing curative treatment as well as end-of-life care.

Heart of the Redwoods Community Hospice is the only hospice in this large rural area since St. Joseph’s cut its rural home health service several years ago. Hospice manages on a very frugal budget through a team of trained volunteers. There is no fat to cut; without immediate and generous financial support, this community could lose its hospice services.

You can help Hospice care for the community. Look for Hospice’s annual appeal letter in your mail. If you aren’t on Hospice’s mailing list, you can send a donation to Heart of the Redwoods Community Hospice, 464 Maple Lane, Garberville, CA 95542. You can make a donation through Umpqua Bank or the Community Credit Union. Your donation goes directly to patient services.

You can also support Hospice by buying your spring starts at Redway Feed’s annual Garden Party, this Saturday, April 18 from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m. Proceeds from select flower and veggie starts sales will be donated to Hospice.

Hospice is neighbors helping neighbors to face illness and death with grace and strength. Please help Hospice continue its vital work.

For more information call Jennifer Waters at Hospice, 923-7276.

On lower speed limits, vandalism, and reckless drivers

As reported earlier this week over on SoHum Parlance, some improvements are in store for the Briceland-Thorne and Shelter Cove roads – namely, some sorely-needed chipsealing work. But the California Highway Patrol and County Roads didn't wait to lower speed limits: according to an April 9 press release from CHP, they have already “lowered the speed limit on numerous sections of these two roads. This was done due to numerous complaints regarding safety issues observed on these roads. The roads were surveyed for radar enforcement and are now posted with enforceable speed limits. The CHP will be patrolling these roadways and taking appropriate enforcement action against any observed violations.”

In response to this, some yahoo asshole jackass/es took it upon himself/themselves (sorry for being sexist, but I’m blatantly assuming he/they were male) to cut down 17 of the 35 new speed-limit signs that were just erected. They were metal posts, so whoever did it used a Sawzall or a similar device, and stole the signs to boot. Earlier in the week, the issue of lowered speed limits and road safety got some airplay on KMUD, with at least one well-known local citizen telling the populace he’d like to know where the speed traps are, so he’ll know when to slow down.

Well, how’s this for a radical idea? Drive carefully on curvy roads, regardless of whether or not you think the CHP is out there. If you’re in such a bloody hurry, why the hell do you live here?

Looking over the comments in response to Eric’s post, there was one in particular that caught my eye and made my blood boil: “The cops don’t seem to worry about the teen deaths, they are more interested in pot busts, like when you get on the freeway.”

Granted, the CHP has had a banner year for roadside pot busts. But you know, at this point, this is my feeling about it: if you’re a) speeding down a major highway while transporting 20 pounds of pot, b) speeding down a major highway with a busted headlight while transporting 20 pounds of pot, or c) congregating near the bottom of Bell Springs Road with two other cars, shortly past midnight, with 20 pounds of pot and $100,000 in cash... well, you’re a moron, and you deserve to be caught.

But it’s the first part of the comment that really bothered me. Why do you, Anonymous, believe “the cops don’t seem to worry about the teen deaths”? Have you ever spoken to any of these cops? Their job is to ensure that people are driving safely and not breaking any laws. Their job does not include teaching people to drive safely and not to drink and drive. Those should have been assumed the day you got your driver’s license.

*****

On August 31, 2007, four young people – including 19-year-old Garberville resident Stevie Shroyer – died when the car they were riding in, driven by 25-year-old Cody Baker, plunged into Ruth Lake.

From an article written by Thaddeus Greenson of the Times-Standard:

“Baker said he spent the summer working on a ranch in Southern Humboldt County, doing some painting work and playing softball. During that time, Baker said he would drink 10 to 12 beers a day while working on the ranch and as many as 25 during softball tournaments.

Baker testified that he consumed about a dozen beers – but possibly more – between noon and 10 p.m. on Aug. 31, 2007, but that he only had a couple of sips between then and the fatal crash, which occurred shortly before midnight.

...Baker said he agreed to drive because he ‘felt fine,’ and feared that if he didn’t drive, one of his more intoxicated companions would.

‘I didn’t feel the effects of any alcohol and everyone else had been drinking pretty heavily,’ Baker said. ‘I just felt that I should be driving. ... Growing up with this group of friends, as sad as it is, drinking and driving isn’t that frowned upon. One way or another, someone would have gotten behind the wheel to get them to the destination.’

Baker’s blood-alcohol level was reportedly .17 – twice the legal limit – when tested three hours after the accident. That would put Baker’s blood-alcohol content at an estimated .23 at the time of the crash, after taking into account different burn-off rates.”

As I reported in the post below about Emma Worldpeace’s thesis on youth deaths in Southern Humboldt, the spring 2008 California Health Kids Survey indicated that in Southern Humboldt, 17 percent of 7th graders, 38 percent of 9th graders, and 42 percent of 11th graders had engaged in binge drinking in the 30 days prior to the survey – compared to statewide statistics of 5, 12, and 21 percent, respectively. And as Emma discovered in a series of in-depth interviews with Southern Humboldt residents, youths themselves point to a culture of permissiveness and no limits as being a core problem that may contribute to the recklessness – and in turn, youth deaths – in our little part of the world.

*****

I’ve had more than a few close calls on the Briceland and Shelter Cove roads. And as much as I enjoy going out to the Cove – it’s a gorgeous drive to a beautiful little community, and I do love the ocean – it stopped being fun a long time ago. These days, if I need an ocean fix, I’m just as likely to go to Fort Bragg. There isn’t nearly as much traffic on 1, and the drivers are much more cognizant of the risks of curvy roads – and the pleasures of slowing down.

The Garberville CHP station has 11 patrol cars on duty per shift. That’s 11 cars to cover an area from Weott in the north to Laytonville in the south, and from Shelter Cove in the west to the Trinity County line in the east. I’ve seen and heard lots of complaints from people who want more of a CHP presence on the coastal roads; likewise, I’ve seen and heard just as many complaints from people who want less of a presence on 101. As evidenced by Anon’s comment, there are also plenty of people who think they don’t give a damn either way, that all they care about is pot busts. As if they didn’t live here, didn’t have children here, hadn’t seen their share of dead bodies on the road.

As Bob Dylan famously put it, “To live outside the law, you must be honest.” Let’s stop pointing fingers; hating the cops for doing their jobs (just because it’s de rigueur in Southern Humboldt to do so) deflects attention away from the much deeper problem in our midst. It’s way past time that we take responsibility for ourselves and what we’re teaching our children – about drinking and driving, speeding, recklessness, and the idea that just because we live in the Emerald Triangle, we get to live without rules.

Ethan Hawke on Kris Kristofferson

The latest issue of Rolling Stone has a great piece on Kris Kristofferson written by Ethan Hawke – yes, that Ethan Hawke, of 90’s slacker-movie, Training Day, and Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead fame. Hawke had wanted to film a documentary about Kristofferson, but settled for a long interview instead. He’s obviously a major fan, so the article is a very loving one, with plenty of early biographical information, old photos, and great song lyrics interspersed throughout.

Hawke opens the article with a story that’s worth the price of admission all by itself – although, as evidenced by numerous stories in the last few days, it has generated quite a bit of controversy.

*****

Standing backstage at the Beacon Theatre in New York, leaning against a crumbling brick wall in the dark, I could barely see Kris Kristofferson standing to my left. Willie Nelson was in the shadows to my right. Ray Charles was standing beside Willie, idly shifting his weight back and forth. A bit farther along the wall were Elvis Costello, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Shelby Lynne, Paul Simon and respective managers, friends and family. Everybody was nervous and tight. We were there for Willie Nelson’s 70th birthday concert in 2003.

Up from the basement came one of country music’s brightest stars (who shall remain nameless). At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America’s enemies back into the Stone Age.

“Happy birthday,” the Star said to Willie, breezing by us. As he passed Kristofferson in one long, confident stride, out of the corner of his mouth came “None of that lefty shit out there tonight, Kris.”

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Kris growled, stepping forward.

“Oh, no,” groaned Willie under his breath. “Don’t get Kris all riled up.”

“You heard me,” the Star said, walking away in the darkness.

“Don’t turn your back to me, boy,” Kristofferson shouted, not giving a shit that basically the entire music industry seemed to be flanking him.

The Star turned around: “I don’t want any problems, Kris – I just want you to tone it down.”

“You ever worn your country’s uniform?” Kris asked rhetorically.

“What?”

“Don’t ‘What?’ me, boy! You heard the question. You just don’t like the answer.” He paused just long enough to get a full chest of air. “I asked, ‘Have you ever served your country?’ The answer is, no, you have not. Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man’s life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not. So shut the fuck up!” I could feel his body pulsing with anger next to me. “You don’t know what the hell you are talking about!”

“Whatever,” the young Star muttered.

Ray Charles stood motionless. Willie Nelson looked at me and shrugged mischievously like a kid in the back of the classroom.

Kristofferson took a deep inhale and leaned against the wall, still vibrating with adrenaline. He looked over at Willie as if to say, “Don’t say a word.” Then his eyes found me.

“You know what Waylon Jennings said about guys like him?” he whispered.

I shook my head.

“They’re doin’ to country music what pantyhose did to finger-fuckin’.”

*****

As I wrote, there has been some major controversy stirred up about the above; Toby Keith, the unnamed Star, vehemently denies that the incident ever took place, and in response, Kristofferson stated through his publicist that he doesn’t recall the exchange. Rolling Stone is standing by its story. Apparently, no one’s had the gumption to ask Willie what he remembers.

Controversy aside, the piece is a splendid tribute to a true American icon. It’s not online yet, but should be soon.

Photograph by David LaChappelle for Rolling Stone.

Youth Alive!, Part II

Per a request from Kathy in the post below, here are some statistics from the spring 2008 California Healthy Kids Survey, part of the information Emma Worldpeace used when she wrote her UC Berkeley thesis. Below that is some information on her presentation to the SHUSD Board of Trustees on Thursday, and to the community at Youth Alive! on Friday. For more, I strongly suggest that you read my story in this week’s Indie, and check out the KMUD archives.

*****

Ever gotten high from drugs

7th grade, SHUSD: 25%
7th grade, statewide: 7%

9th grade, SHUSD: 34%
9th grade, statewide: 20%

11th grade, SHUSD: 83%
11th grade, statewide: 36%

Binge drinking in the last 30 days

7th grade, SHUSD: 17%
7th grade, statewide: 5%

9th grade, SHUSD: 38%
9th grade, statewide: 12%

11th grade, SHUSD: 42%
11th grade, statewide: 21%

Marijuana, daily use (state numbers not available)

7th grade, SHUSD: 5%
9th grade, SHUSD: 20%
11th grade, SHUSD: 20%

Drink and drive, or passenger in vehicle where driver was drunk (state numbers not available)

9th grade, SHUSD: 41%
11th grade, SHUSD: 48%

Although the majority of young people are not using it, marijuana is the second most commonly used drug among local teens. Fifty-five percent of Southern Humboldt Unified School District eleventh graders report using marijuana in the last 30 days, compared to 19 percent statewide. Our youth exceed the statewide averages in all areas of high-risk behavior listed on the chart above.

Brain development: Because of their physical and neurological stage of development and vulnerability to peer influence, teens are more at risk than adults when using alcohol and marijuana. Young people need support and guidance, especially when faced with the need to control impulses and make smart choices. Parents and educators can help by opening lines of communication and setting clear boundaries.

Emotional health: When asked if they have, during the past 12 months, “felt so sad and hopeless almost every days for two weeks that they stopped doing some usual activities, 20 percent of 7th graders, 37 percent of ninth graders, and 19 percent of eleventh graders responded affirmatively. These feelings – especially when compounded with alcohol or other drug use, or left untreated – can lead to depression, violence and suicide.

*****

Worldpeace, a 2004 graduate of South Fork High School, wrote her senior thesis at UC Berkeley on deaths among youth in Southern Humboldt, using data from the Humboldt County Public Health Department. Additionally, she conducted extensive interviews with nine residents – five youths and four adults – and found that the same themes resonated through all of them.

“Throughout my time in high school and college, I kept losing friends and family way too young,” Worldpeace said, noting that some college friends “who had grown up in the Oakland ghetto” had never lost a single friend to a car accident, much less several. “I decided to do a statistical analysis, and I wanted to know: How has this issue impacted people living here?” For purposes of her thesis, “youth” was defined as anyone between the ages of 12 and 24 who had suffered a violent or untimely death – suicide, homicide, or traffic accident (long-term illnesses, for example, were not included).

Worldpeace distributed a flyer at both meetings, with a breakdown of the numbers available from Public Health. They paint a grim picture: from 1997 to 2007, there were 37 deaths in the 12-to-24 age group, 16 female and 20 male. Of those, 16 died in motor-vehicle accidents, nine committed suicide, six were murdered, and six died in miscellaneous accidents. “Compared to other Humboldt County census areas,” Worldpeace reported, “Southern Humboldt’s youth death rate per 100,000 population is significantly higher – 28.3 to 14.2 [countywide average].” The area with the next-highest numbers – Trinity-Klamath, which includes Hoopa and Weitchpec – had 23.4 youth deaths per 100,000, with Arcata coming in a distant third at 14.5.

The actual numbers are even higher, though: for purposes of the study, only those youths who died within the borders of the SHUSD were included. However, several have died outside of the area, including Reia Shapiro, who perished in a car accident in Southern California; Stevie Shroyer, in another car accident at Ruth Lake; and Jenny Barnett, who died a few weeks ago in Mount Shasta, the apparent victim of an overdose.

...Reckless driving was one of the emergent themes in the interviews she conducted, Worldpeace explained, adding that high alcohol consumption – “drinking just to get drunk, passing the bottle of Crown” – was of major concern to all the interviewees. Fear of seeking help, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, and engaging in other high-risk behaviors after another young one’s death was also discussed: “You see people drinking at memorials, or you see them smoking way too much weed – or drinking at a friend’s memorial, then driving home drunk. It feeds back into itself.”

Lack of boundaries on the part of adults was a recurrent topic, as was the accompanying need for extended families and supportive adults “like Joani Rose and Barbara Penny [of Recycled Youth].” Perhaps the saddest emergent theme, Worldpeace said, was “acquiescence to death” – feeling numb and overwhelmed. “People had lost so many friends, students, et cetera,” she continued, “they could no longer process their grief... Some would go through 25 or 30 names in their minds and ask themselves, ‘Have I ever properly grieved any of them?’”

The answer for many was “no” – and, deeply disturbing for Worldpeace, “People feel it’s become part of the experience of living in this community. That, for me, was the ‘put on the brakes’ moment in these interviews, because these are all preventable deaths.”

Perhaps the strongest theme to emerge – one that the interviewees were afraid to broach, but couldn’t speak honestly omitting it – was the marijuana culture and what Worldpeace calls “the secrecy oxymoron.” “It’s a huge part of our economy and how we define ourselves, but no one’s allowed to talk about it, much less to teachers and other ‘official’ adults,” she said. “There’s a lot of stuff that’s never dealt with because they don’t want to compromise their family’s livelihood... There’s also a sense that a lot of young people in this area don’t know the value of a dollar. Many have no drive, especially if they can make $150,000 a year right after high school, or even if they’ve dropped out. It’s especially an issue for young men, who wind up isolating themselves from the community at large.”

...Worldpeace is currently employed with AmeriCorps through the Southern Humboldt Family Resource Center, located at 344 Humboldt Ave. in Redway (by Redway School). Community members interested in reading her thesis, or becoming involved with youth, are strongly encouraged to call the FRC at 923-1147.